Before I wrote my book, Guilt-Free Quiet Times, I conducted an anonymous, online survey. You can find a summary of the survey at the end of the book, but there’s more to the survey that you won’t find… until now:

The comments.

I asked two open-ended questions and gave respondents the chance to voice their opinion anonymously. I was curious. What do women really believe about having effective, quality time with the Lord?

The first thing I found was that most women were exactly like me. They longed to spend time with the Lord, but the reality of executing that desire in the midst of LIFE was more challenging than they were expecting. So they were caught in this chasm between expectation and execution… The chasm of guilt. Take this question, for example:

Which “myths” would you like to see exposed about quiet times?

• That you have to consistently have a quiet time every day at a given time. My quiet times come throughout the day and often when I least expect them. [So, basically, you talk to God all day long, even to the point of responding when He speaks to you “when you least expect it?” And someone along the line has told you that this is a bad thing??? Oh my! Keep it up girl! You’re on the right track!]
• That they have to last an hour and you have to have deep spiritual revelations with each one. [You mean someone has actually suggested that every single quiet time must move mountains, melt hearts and rain down fire from Heaven? Every. Single. One? I would love to meet that person because I’m pretty sure it’s an angel, not a real person. ]
• That it should be done first thing in the morning (doesn’t work if you aren’t a morning person). [Yes, apparently evening quiet-time people need counseling. I’ll meet you there.]

Most of the comments were along those lines. It’s as if, deep in their hearts, women felt like maybe all of the unspoken quiet time “rules” should or could be challenged; they just didn’t want to be the one to challenge them. Have no fear, sister, that’s what I’m here for.

But then there were these women… The ones whose voices echoed in my mind with every page that I wrote. These people are not going to agree with this book one iota! These ladies are going to judge me! They are going to chastise me! They are going to turn their backs on me, Laurie, and all of Priority Ministries when they read this book and discover that, not only do I not have perfect quiet times without fail, but that I am okay with that! There were just a handful of comments like these, but here are a few:

If someone were to write a book about how to have the perfect quiet time, what would it include?

• Importance of physical place, need a place that’s conducive to communication with God. Quiet and organized. [Hmm… Quiet and organized… So basically, I need to build on an addition to my house. Got it.]
• Reading scripture along with a devotion booklet, plus having more than one devotion book, having a cup of coffee or tea, lighting a candle, propping up your feet. [Oh, so there is a checklist… Alright. Scripture: check! Devo book: sometimes; more than one, seldom! Warm beverage: Wouldn’t that be nice! Candle: You’re right; I really should expose my children and dog to open flames for the sake of my quiet time. Feet up: Sorry, I’m going to have to wave the white flag on this one. I might be able to negotiate on the open flames, but if my feet are up, I’m usually asleep. Quiet Time Fail.]
• We wouldn’t wait til the end of the day to put on deodorant…..start your day putting on the fragrance of God. [This is the one woman who haunted me the most when I was writing Guilt-Free Quiet Times. The anonymous deodorant lady. I couldn’t get her out of my head and I had anxiety over whether or not she would read this book and be able to hear my heart. No. I don’t believe that your quiet time has to be in the morning, but guess what… I don’t always put on deodorant first thing either!! And sometimes it really is 3 o’clock before I brush my teeth. Or change out of my pajamas. Or eat breakfast! But I promise, I still love Jesus! Whew! It feels so good to finally admit that. ]

Ladies, I know that sometimes I slip into my spiritual gift of sarcasm when I’m not quite sure what else to say or how to say it. But, all joking aside, here’s what I believe about every single woman who answered my survey almost a year ago. I believe each one loves Jesus and is just trying to navigate her way through spiritual growth. I pray that we can each “spur one another on in love and good deeds.” I pray all the time that the women who read Guilt-Free Quiet Times will find freedom, not judgement. And most importantly – inspiration, not excuses.

Amy from Raising Arrows posted a review of the book this week, and her intro was one of the most honest, wonderful things I have ever read. Why? Because she needed convincing! Here’s what she wrote:

When Emily Ryan of Priority Ministries wrote to me about her new book Guilt-Free Quiet Times, I was skeptical.  Sure, I had written about how God wants more than a Quiet Time to-do list, but was this book a complete cop-out?  Was she going to coddle and even encourage excuses?  Was this just going to be another Christian-mom book promoting selfishness tucked neatly behind a veil of misquoted grace?

What I found instead was a book I have come to recommend nearly every week to other moms wanting meaningful Quiet Time with the Lord, but wondering when and how. [Read her whole review here.]

So is it possible to get rid of guilt without promoting selfishness or misquoting grace? I believe it is. Even if you don’t put your deodorant on first thing every morning.