When I was a young teenager, I asked to go to the movies with a boy. My father said, “No, because you might hold hands.”
“So! Who cares!? Why does it matter if I hold hands with a boy?” I yelled.
“Because,” he said. “Holding hands leads to getting pregnant.”
It’s taken me a couple of decades to fully unpack that infuriating nugget of wisdom, but I finally understand what my father meant back then. I was looking at my actions and only focusing on the step immediately in front of me. My father was looking at the combination of all those steps and focusing on the possible destination to which they may lead.
Recently I’ve seen a lot of women take some pretty dangerous “first steps.” Have you heard of the best-selling novel, Fifty Shades of Grey? What about the movie, Magic Mike? They’re both “erotically charged” and they both seem to be all the rage in entertainment lately. In fact, I’ve even had several women ask if I’d address this subject here on the blog.
Since there are already many great articles written on these subjects elsewhere on the web (I’ll link to some at the end), I won’t duplicate those. Instead, I’ll simply share why I’ve chosen to steer clear of these things (and others), and my reasoning may surprise you.
I choose not to read Fifty Shades of Grey or see Magic Mike because… (are you ready for this?)… I’m afraid I might enjoy them!
There you have it. The ugly truth. I’ve been somewhat hesitant to publicly take a stand against these popular things for fear that others might think I’m being a holier-than-thou goody-two-shoes, but that’s not it at all. I stay away not because I’m that strong, but because I’m that weak. And it’s not the book itself or the movie itself that I’m leery of; it’s the possibility of where else they might lead.
It’s possible I could read a steamy novel or watch a steamy movie and it really have no effect on me. OR, it’s possible it could be the first step that leads me down the destructive road of pornography and ultimately ruins my marriage. (Yes, this happens to women too!) For me, the possible long term risks are not worth the short term rewards.
There are two things you can do to if you want to avoid long term destruction too:
1. Admit that it could happen to you.
The Bible says that we’re all like sheep, prone to wander away from our shepherd. “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isa. 53:6) Our spirit may be willing to obey, but our flesh is oh so weak. Satan wants you to think it could never happen to you, but greater men (and women) have fallen.
2. Avoid the first step.
Satan doesn’t bother with tempting us to take big jumps into sin – Here! Try heroin! Have an affair! Embezzle from your boss! Marry a non-believer! Instead, he hooks us with those seemingly insignificant first steps and then patiently waits until we take the next, and the next, and the next. – It’s just a cigarette. He’s only a Facebook friend. It’s just a few office supplies. It’s only one date. It’s just a silly book… It’s just a silly movie…
Once I admitted that I wasn’t above those life-destroying sins, and once I chose to avoid those “harmless” first steps, many, many grey-area decisions became quite easy for me to make. I don’t buy lottery tickets. I don’t watch soap operas. I don’t read romance novels. I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t smoke. I don’t say certain words. I won’t read one shade of grey, much less fifty, nor will I see Mike and all his magic.
And none of these things reveal my strength or my holiness. They all reveal my weaknesses and my sinful nature.
How have you benefited by avoiding certain “first steps” towards destructive sins?
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Additional Articles:
Girls Gone Wise: A Black and White Choice NOT to Read Fifty Shades of Grey
Family Life: Fifty Shades of Caution
Plugged-In Review of Magic Mike
This is absolutely a awesome reason not to follow the trends of society. I have two boys and I try to explain why they shouldn’t follow what everyone else is doing, and have read this to them. Thank you.
Laurie, thank you for sharing your heart here.
I’m going to share it with my fb friends.
Great article, laurie! This is EXACTLY what I was trying to explain to my co workers just recently when they were talming about this book…how great it is. I was trying to explain WHY I wont read it nor any secular “romance” novels. Women just dont yhink about where it camtake them or how discontented it can make them begin to feel in their marriages.
Love this post, those little first steps are usually what leads us to those big falls. Thank you for sharing this it really puts things in persective! Blessings!
Thank you Emily for your honesty!!!! That’s one of my reasons as well. Its a very very deceptive slippery slope & I dont know how far or dark it is at the bottom nor do i want to find out. Joining with you to protect our hearts & minds for our Lord and each other! Thanks for your encouragement to proctect what we value!
Thanks Emily for sharing this post. I had some Ladies ask me to go see the movie ” Magic Mike”. I simply replied, No Thanks!. Then I was so proud of our “NEW” Daughter in Law, (they have only been married 3 months). I was curious to see what her reaction was to this Movie, since she raves about Matthew M. I ask if she had seen the movie or had plans to go see it. She replied, ” No! I read the movie trailer to see what it was about and I don’t see movies like that.” My heart jumped for joy. You see, I have prayed for years that my son’s marry “Godly Women”. She is our First Daughter in Law and we are still getting to know each other. When she told me her answer, I Praised God and gave Him Glory for answered Prayers. Thanks again.
I was asked my some girl friends to go see this moive and I told them no thank you. IF, and that is only IF, I go to see the movie it will be with my husband. He said he would go with me, mostly out of his own curiosity of what women get out of this kind of thing. (in other words, women acting ridiculous). I love Matthew M.’s acting too!! I have been told that there is also a MUCH deeper story line beneath the “stripper” draw of this movie, so we shall see…..IF we go.
On the other hand I have ZERO desire to read 50 Shades of Grey. YUCK! Just in what I have heard about it is enough to make me sick.
I must have been hiding under a rock, because I hadn’t heard of this book until about a week ago, and this was the first I’ve heard of the movie. I was at a neighborhood BBQ when someone (female) decided to tell the entire group (men and women) all the details of 50 Shades of Gray… and I do mean Details. I was totally offended, very uncomfortable and decided I had to leave because I just didn’t want to know all of this. I don’t judge anyone who wants to read the book, or discuss it with their husband. I just wish people wouldn’t assume the rest of us want to know about it.
I appreciate your honest answer about this book and your reasons for not reading it.
I was especially pleased to see that today’s Front Porch Friday was about judging. After the BBQ event I was struggling with judgement.