Over the last several weeks, we’ve been exploring friendship. Specifically, what makes a true BFF (biblical friend forever),and how you can live out those qualities yourself as well as recognize those qualities in those around you.

We’ve discussed that BFFs:

• walk your walk
• talk your talk
• hold your hand
• carry your mat
• share your load, and – for today’s lesson –
• complete your circle.

For this week’s example, we’ll look at the all-time best BFF of the Bible – Jesus. Yes, He is a friend to all of us, but when He was on earth, He modeled friendship in a very practical, humanly fashion and showed us that BFFs are not your only friends, but they are your closest friends. They complete your circle.

In reality, Jesus’ friendships can be broken down into three different “circles.” From the outer circle to the inner circle, they are the ones with whom He shared:

• His Meals
• His Ministry, and
• His Misery.

In the outer circle are all of the people who Jesus came in contact with – His followers, His acquaintances, those He healed, those He helped, and everyone else He ever met. The Bible is very clear – Jesus was friendly towards everyone, the sinner and the saint. He did not cut people out of His life who did not believe in Him; instead, He showed them love, ministered to them, and even went so far as to share meals with them. To the Pharisees, this was scandalous.

¹⁰ While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. ¹¹ When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” ¹² On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. (Matthew 9:10-12)

In your own outer circle, you may include your coworkers, your extended family members, your Facebook friends, the people you meet at the gym, your neighbors… the list goes on and on. But the first thing we can learn from Jesus about friendship is that while He remained friendly and loving towards them, He still maintained a healthy relational distance between Himself and those in His outer circle. We too need to treat people in this category like Jesus did. What is a healthy distance?  The distance to which you have influence on them, but they do not have influence on you. (For example, you hear their problems; you do not share yours, etc.)

In the middle circle of Jesus’ friends would be those with whom He ministered: His disciples and perhaps a few others, like Mary, Martha and Lazarus. These are people He invited into His life to foster deeper and more meaningful relationships. Aside from Judas, all were believers. He poured His life into these select few and shared a mutual love, passion, and ministry with them. They were like-minded.

For your own friendships that fall in this level, these would be those people who you truly consider good friends. Maybe your sisters, the girls in your Bible study or Bunco group, your college roommates, your husband… there are not rules as to where they come from. But these are the people who you have a meaningful, spiritual, and regular relationship with. This group will undoubtedly be smaller than the last.

Finally, in Jesus’ inner circle, we see just three people: Peter, James and John – the three men Jesus turned to with His misery – when life was at its absolute worst. Of everyone Jesus associated with, these were the three who were closest to Him.

³² They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” ³³ He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ³⁴ “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” (Mark 14:32-34)

Jesus shared things with Peter, James and John that He didn’t share with anyone else. He confided in them. He trusted them. He formed unbreakable bonds with them.

Notice how small Jesus’ inner circle was?

Just three friends.

This is where I want to encourage you. I often hear people yearn for more friendships. There are only one or two people they can go to who truly understand them, and it makes them sad.

But here’s the truth: if you have just a couple of friends – over the course of your lifetime – who fit into this category, consider yourself blessed. These “inner circle” friends are 100% quality and 0% quantity. Do not be so eager to invite people into this circle. It is sacred, and it is holy. And these relationships, when they do come, are to be cherished and protected.

There are many other tangents we could take in our discussion of friendship, and perhaps we will explore some of those in future series. Next week, I’ll share a personal example of how God works when you take the time to truly cultivate your own BFFs.

But until then, I’d love to hear from you! Do you have any questions about godly friendships? Any wisdom of your own you’d like to share? Any stories or anecdotes? Let me know!

Q: Who completes your inner circle of friendship? Why?

Read the entire BFF Series:

• BFFs: Biblical Friends Forever (Intro)
• Walk your walk (Part 1)
• Talk your talk (Part 2)
• Hold your hand (Part 3)
• Carry your mat (Part 4)
• Share your load (Part 5), and
• Complete your circle (Part 6)
• BFFs: Who are yours?