I opened my calendar and noticed something interesting. In a week and a half, I had four “meetings” scheduled with different friends. One was a phone call resulting from a last-minute “Can you chat tomorrow?” text that I received from a friend in Dallas. Another was a standing biweekly phone call with my friend in Colorado. Another was a breakfast meeting with a local friend I don’t get to see hardly enough. And the last was a girls’ night out with a small group of friends from church.
At first, I wasn’t sure what to make of my calendar. “Has it really come to this?” I thought. “Is my life so crazy that I have to ‘pencil’ my friends in?” I remember a time when my life revolved around my friends. High school. College. Post-college. I saw my friends daily. Our conversations were as regular as meals. Our lives were so intertwined that our schedules overlapped more than not. And now, part of me felt like a snooty executive who was directing all requests for appointments to her secretary rather than making people a priority herself.
“Can I do coffee? Hmm. Let me consult my schedule… I have an opening next Leap Year. Will that work?”
But just as I was all set to make myself a “Worst Friend of the Year” award, I was reminded of this passage from Hebrews: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (10:24-25).
Just before these well-known verses, the writer of Hebrews implores us to “draw near to God with a sincere heart.” I was reminded that in any and everything we do, that is the ultimate goal. Drawing near to God. Keeping our hearts open, soft, and sincere.
And if Hebrews reminded me of anything, it was that those who help you draw near to God are worth a spot on your calendar.
There are some seasons when godly friendships evolve organically and effortlessly. The cycle of iron sharpening iron spins beautifully like a pinwheel in a summer breeze. But other times, there is no wind and we must blow on the friendship pinwheel to keep it spinning.
The first time I looked at all those sterile appointments on the calendar, I thought perhaps I wasn’t making enough of an effort to grow my friendships. But now I could see the truth. My friendships were growing because of my calendar. And because of my calendar, my friends and I were helping each other “draw near to God with a sincere heart.”
Perhaps you need to put your friends on your calendar as well. Some say that “If it doesn’t get scheduled, it doesn’t get done.” It doesn’t have to be a major production. You don’t have to block off a three-day weekend to catch up. All you have to do is send a text or an email and say, “Hey! I miss you! Can I call you next Thursday at 3?”
The Bible is clear. When it comes to godly friendships, we should make an effort. And your calendar could be a great place to begin.
Thank you Emily!
This is such a great advise. As adults we have lots going on, and we value our friends but many times we lack the courtesy of letting them know – in deeds, such as an email or phone call or in words, as in “I really value our friendship.”
This has been encouraging for me to be more mindful of my BFFs!
Yes! All important “appointments” are calendar-worthy!