Have you ever wished you could change someone?

Maybe you have a family member who is ruining his life with alcohol or drugs. Maybe you can’t have a conversation with your mother without facing a guilt trip or criticism. Maybe your boss is just impossible to handle.

It’s frustrating to watch someone you love ruin his or her life. You want to help. You want to reason with them. You want them to see that God has a better way.  But no matter how eloquent or sincere you are, they refuse to see the light.

Wouldn’t it be easier if you could jump inside their heads and flip that invisible switch from “childish” to “mature”?

When I am faced with those situations and those people, I have to make it a point to stop and remind myself that I cannot change another person’s heart. I can address their behavior and the way they outwardly reflect the condition of their hearts, but only God can initiate change from the inside out.

In those instances I bite my tongue and pray this five-word prayer instead: “Not my job, but Yours.”

When you pray, “Not my job, but Yours,” you are reminded that you and God have different abilities. You can influence a person. God can change a person. You can nag. God can convict. You can pray. God can save.

It’s not that your desire to see change in a person’s life is wrong. It often stems from a genuine concern for the other person’s well being, especially if you know he or she does not know the Lord personally. Oh how you want for them to experience a personal relationship with God. The problem, however, is that there is a significant chasm between your desire for change and the other person’s desire for change. And it’s a chasm that can only be bridged by God Himself.

So rather than make it your mission to have everyone you meet live up to his or her potential, at some point you have to let go, get out of the way, and let God do what He does best – change people’s hearts.

When you pray, “Not my job, but Yours,” you acknowledge several things:

• You cannot change a person, but God can.
• God changes people in His time and in His way.
• You will not try to do God’s job.
• You need God’s wisdom to know what to say and what not to say to the other person.
• You will continue to pray, and you will trust God to answer.

In the heat of the moment, it’s much easier to scream out, “You need self-control!” or “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” or “If you would just do it my way, everything would be better!” But those attempts at reasoning rarely result in soft hearts. More often than not, our misguided logic only makes the issue worse and pushes the other person farther away from God’s best for his or her life.

Instead, the more productive thing is often to practice the first rule of creative writing and “Show, don’t tell.” Stop preaching about Christ and start acting more and more like Him. Stop using your words and start using your actions.

And in the meantime, in every conversation laced with tension, in every disappointing word, in every cutting glance or insulting gesture, pray in your heart, “Not my job, but Yours,” and thank the Lord that the person you see as impossible to change is not your responsibility anyway.

Q: When have you seen the benefits of praying that God would change someone’s heart?

Read the entire 5-word prayers series

Introduction to 5 Word Prayers
1. Not my will, but yours
2. Not my timing, but yours
3. Not my day, but yours
4. Not my reason, but yours
5. Not my stuff, but yours
6. Not my way, but yours
7. Not my job, but yours
8. Not my glory, but yours