I remember the first time I prayed this prayer. I was in high school and was very anxious to go to a college that was about an hour away from home. The “problem,” however, was that I was already awarded a scholarship for one year of tuition from the junior college just down the road. I knew that the only way my financially-minded parents would agree to send me off to school would be if another offer could match or top the one I’d already been given.
I applied for a $10,000 scholarship from The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, knowing that if it was God’s will for me to leave home, He would have to provide the way. And so for weeks I prayed this simple 5-word prayer every time I checked the mail, awaiting any word from the scholarship committee. “Not my will, but Yours.”
It seemed a little trite at first, praying this prayer that Jesus first whispered in His darkest hour. For Him, it was a matter of life and death. For me, it was only a matter of Houston versus Huntsville. But I had no other choice. Where I attended school may not have been a matter of life and death, but for an 18-year-old busting at the seams eager to spread her wings and be independent, it felt like it was.
And the best and worst part of it all was that it was completely out of my hands.
“Not my will, but Yours.”
Wrapped in these simple five words are a million different confessions of the heart all rolled into one single breath. With these words, you acknowledge that:
- You have a will.
- God has a will.
- Your will and God’s will may or may not be in sync.
- God’s will is best.
- You will defer to His will even if it contradicts your own.
- You will defer to His will even if it is difficult.
Life is full of these moments in which you can and should whisper this prayer just as Jesus did. Sometimes it’s easy, like when you put an offer on a house and are waiting to see if it’s been accepted, or when you apply for a promotion at work, but know that the competition is fierce. It’s not that difficult to pray, “Not my will, but Yours,” because you can see that even if your desire is not God’s desire, you’re still not that bad off.
When it gets harder, however, is when you absolutely do not want what God may have on the horizon. When the doctor has found something irregular and wants you to go in for further tests, saying, “Not my will, but Yours,” feels like the most difficult thing in the world. Or when it’s your child or your grandchild facing the unthinkable, praying that can feel downright impossible.
There are two things, though, that make these five words a little easier to bear.
1. This prayer doesn’t demand that you silence your own desires.
If we look at the context in which Jesus prayed this prayer, we can see that He did so after crying out to God and expressing His own personal desires over and over again. “Take this cup from me,” He prayed. “This isn’t what I want. This feels too difficult to endure. Please let there be another way.”
And only after expressing His deepest desires did He at last reconcile His will to the Father’s. “Not my will, but Yours,” He said. “This isn’t what I want, but if it’s what You want, I’ll embrace it.”
2. The more you pray this prayer, the more you will mean it.
Jesus shows us that this prayer, while necessary and powerful, is still the most difficult to pray. So difficult, in fact, that sometimes you have to pray it over and over again, just as He did.
The first time you pray, “Not my will, but Yours,” you may not even mean it at all. You may have to say it with clenched fists through gritted teeth. But the divine nature of this prayer is that each time you whisper it, your own will slowly looses power until eventually, you really mean what you’re praying.
We know how it turned out when Jesus cried out, “Not my will, but yours,” in the Garden. His desire to avoid the Cross was in direct opposition to God’s sovereign will. So Jesus did the right and difficult thing and reconciled His will with the Father’s despite the difficulties.
When I whispered, “Not my will, but Yours,” at my mailbox every day, I was fully prepared to receive a letter that began, “We regret to inform you…” When a letter finally arrived, my heart raced and my hands shook as I slowly opened it. “Not my will, but Yours,” I whispered one last time. Then I unfolded the letter that began, “Congratulations!…”
Q: Have you ever prayed this simple, but powerful 5-word prayer? Did you feel your own will weaken as you did? How did it turn out, and what did you learn?
Read the entire 5-word prayers series
Introduction to 5 Word Prayers
1. Not my will, but yours
2. Not my timing, but yours
3. Not my day, but yours
4. Not my reason, but yours
5. Not my stuff, but yours
6. Not my way, but yours
7. Not my job, but yours
8. Not my glory, but yours
My husband graduates in May with his phd and although he has applied to about 15 places, they are in academics or government positions which means we most likely won’t hear anything for several months (which is REALLY hard for me because I am a planner!) I also very badly want to get closer to my family (who is currently 900 miles away), but that may not be God’s plan. He hasn’t revealed anything about our future yet. For the past few months, I have been praying this prayer basically saying “whatever is your will, I will be ok with,” although when I first started praying it, it was through clenched teeth. I’d continue with that prayer saying “but Lord, you know my desires…” After several months of praying this prayer, it has, as you said, gotten easier. And my heart is truly at peace, that His will will be done, and I really am ok with whatever happens, because I know its His plan. And I am sooo thankful for the peace He has given me. I can’t explain it, but it’s only because of Him that I have that peace.
Stephanie, I can only imagine! My best friend’s husband is in the military, and they’ve had to move at least five times in the past 11 years – much more so than the average military family. I know she responds every time just like you – first praying “not my will but yours” kicking and screaming, then praying it and feeling peace. Prayers for you! I know the hardest part is probably not knowing.
Morning Emily. I’m just catching up this week but I’ve had to think more on this subject. So now, I’ll try not to write a book. All my life I’ve been a “strong willed” woman. And I have to say, “in some areas of my life it’s served me well, the for instance being, many members of my family tried to steer me down the wrong path. I KNEW the life I wanted but I also craved the love of my family. But when it became clear that to stay around them would weaken or beat out my will I was glad to have “a strong will”. However, little did I know that, really & truly from the beggining, it was GODS will & not my own that was leading me. And even when it felt more like my “plight”, rather than my will, I hung on. And, at times, it even seemed like there was NO will, just blind stumbling. I wasn’t asking for “His will” but I was sure praying for His help. Now, as I look back on my life, I realize it wasn’t “”my will”” to go through a divorce, (nor do I think it was His will), but He did allow me to walk
through that very dark moment, just to survive, and He never stopped bending, shaping, molding & then pouring HIS perfect will into mine. It was then that I began to pray for His will to be done first in my life & He answered so graciously by pure restoration of my life. Now, today & every day, I crave His will FIRST over my own & I glory in the “”strong will”” He’s given me to overcome evil & injustices. I’ve learned submission is a sweet & very peaceful thing & it must be guarded & even nourished. PTL!